Missing my Grandma...

On Wednesday, I recieved a call from my dad with words that took my breath away and replaced it with throbbing pain. My grandma had passed away after suffering a major stroke. This is the first time I have experienced pain to this magnitude. I have beautiful memories of this incredible woman and I am so thankful to have had the wonderful relationship that we had.

I remember her laugh that was silent until she sucked in air, her silly comments, how she liked everything chopped teeny tiny in the kitchen, the way she smelled...like vacation and family. She loved cheddar cheese with her apple pie and always got mad if people took her tuberware without returning it. She loved butter on saltine crackers (well, on anything really) and hated exercise, yet always had a stationary bike by her bed. She liked classical music and soap operas, solitare and novels. Her cheeks turned pink when she drank wine and she always wore cardigan sweaters and keds. When my parents went to China to pick up Molly, she stayed with me the whole time, helping me knit a blanket for my new baby sister. She hated it when I dropped stiches and would make me start over. When I was little, I wanted her to be the maid of honor in my wedding. Everytime we went to visit her (or vice versa) we shared a bed and, while she was sucking on her tums, we would lay awake talking about everything and anything. We called this "Tums Time" and looked forward to it all day. She provided my something old (a charm she got when she was born) and my something borrowed (a Irish linin handkerchief). She sewed all my American Girl doll clothes. She was sweet, sassy, and meant the world to me. My heart aches for her.

My friend Sarah asked me the other day how my grandpa was doing. She was not aware that he had passed away when I was a toddler and I was excited to be able to tell her, "Sarah, he is wonderful! He is so happy today!" It is these thoughts and the promise of eternal life to my faithful grandma that brings me joy through my tears. I can't wait to see her again.

Grandma got to come to Wenatchee for Thanksgiving this year :-)

These past few days I have not felt like talking to anyone. I am so thankful for everyone's calls, texts, and e-mails but the times that I was able to compose myself enough to return calls were the times I was thankful to not be drowning in my tears. Grief is so strange but knowing people were thinking and praying for me and my family was an incredible comfort.

I love you Grandma. I can't wait to bake pies and talk about our days again.